#...oh.... this too is PTSD

[a3rosp4ce]

four days into an overseas work trip, pro-hero deku suddenly gets a call from one of dynamight's sidekicks who tells him katsuki's been unusually sick since yesterday. katsuki, who rarely gets sick bc of how particular he is about health, will occasionally (maybe only once or twice a year) come down with the worst sickness ever. izuku, knowing this, immediately gets worried and tells the sidekick exactly how to take care of katsuki.

he quickly gets frustrated when said sidekick is completely clueless in following izuku's directions. even the most simplest tasks like "make porridge that's this specific temperature so its still hot but not too hot that kacchan will struggle to eat it while sick" or "add three pinches of cinnamon powder to boiling peppermint tea and mix it three times with the long metal spoon kacchan keeps in the right kitchen drawer" have the person dazed.

izuku gets very confused and upset at this, especially knowing kacchan is probably struggling right now and unable to get proper rest. kacchan's nightmares also tend to get worse when he's sick. how odd it is that the things about kacchan that seem common sense to izuku apparently aren't common sense to other people.

"look," izuku sighs into the phone, obviously annoyed. "just.. it's fine. i'll take care of it." to which the person on the other end could only squeak out a shaky okay, thanks, sorry! before ending the call.

what was supposed to be a two week mission somehow wrapped up the following day thanks to deku's focus and resolve. before anyone could ask deku more details about the mission, he's already flying home to take proper care of his kacchan.

as katsuki nuzzles his face against izuku's hand, on second thought, maybe izuku should be grateful that only he knows kacchan best. he doesn't think he could handle other people getting to see katsuki's flushed face and soft sighs as he rests, completely unguarded.

[marsbotz]

WHERE MY DAE-HO FANS AT?? [crickets]

+ doodles vvv

penis 👍

[unnamed-sys-blog]

I'M GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT EVERYTHING IS SYSCOURSE. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU ALL. NOBODY IS VALID ANYMORE EXCEPT ME BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE POST SAYS "ENDOS DNI" "ENDOS FUCK OFF" "ENDOS AREN'T VALID AND HERE'S WHY" "ENDOS SHOULD DIE BECAUSE" I DON'T FUCKING CARE JUST MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOU. GENUINELY. AAAHHHHH

[psi-spectacular]

hc that patty's had a lot of traumatic experiences in her life but her brains main coping strategies are "repress it and hope it never comes up again" and "try your best to put a positive spin on it and cut out all the icky parts with no care for the holes in it" so her memory is really spotty and she'll tell the most heart squeezing gut wrenching story of her childhood with a smile

[megamindsupremacy]

love the idea that stan, pre-realisation, would just put any “my brother-“ thoughts that popped up into the ‘shermie’ category into his head

my brother… the genius … always won the spelling bee… we were so close… i learnt to fight because i was uh. protecting my…. (much??) older brother? damn was he a wimp or something

stan, calling shermie up post everything: do you happen to remember like. a flying dinosaur from our childhood or is this another ‘wrong brother’ situation

shermie, who was very much not there: what.

aksdjfhsd yeah!! also I imagine there being a ton of angst potential because Stan remembers ("remembers" my ass, he doesn't remember shit) himself and Shermie as being fairly close as kids, because everything involving "my brother" is conflated with Shermie, until the Mystery Incident got him kicked out. But Shermie wasn't super close with either of his brothers because of the age difference, and also because I hc him as not being home very often and getting the hell outta dodge as soon as he was old enough. So poor Stan has an imagined closer brotherly dynamic with Shermie, who isn't maintaining this dynamic into adulthood because to him Stan is his younger brother who dropped off the face of the earth (sad) at age 17, popped up a few times in newspapers to get arrested and/or scam people, and then dropped off the face of the earth again at 27.

[crispycreambacon]

Hi y'all. I hope you all are well :)

Happy new year first of all. If you're still here with us, thank you. Thank you for getting through 2024, and thank you for being here. I hope 2025 will be kind to you 🫂

Second of all, I'm not sure if anyone is still here, but if there is someone: I'm sorry for disappearing so suddenly. Life really got in the way due to college, and I can't guarantee this next semester of college won't be very busy for me either. I've been trying to work on my personal life, and part of that was avoiding social media. I'd like to come back, but I'll be reducing the amount of time I spend on here.

If you'd like to know more about what else has happened to me, read on. If not, I wish you well, and I hope you'll still welcome me with open arms.

CW // TRANSPHOBIA, MENTAL HEALTH

If I can be vulnerable for a minute: things have gotten really bad for me last December. I came out to my mom, and it went so badly that I ran away for a little bit. I came back for personal reasons, but now I live with parents who refuse to acknowledge my identity and continue to refer to me with my deadname and AGAB. Moreover, I got triggered really badly at some point during the holidays, and it has led to me realizing I can't keep living like this. I need help.

Thankfully, my college provides mental health services, and from what I heard from other students, they're pretty good. They also provide tests which I definitely need. I can't keep living the undiagnosed lifestyle, y'all, I need to know what's going on with my brain shsldhskshs... I have some clues though. Nothing definitive yet, but I am pretty confident in my suspicions, and whether I'm right or wrong, I just want to figure out what's going on and manage it, start to heal and move on from the trauma I've endured both as a child and now.

I hope this update will suffice. I'm eternally grateful for my friends. They have kept me from absolutely losing it, and they have stuck with me at my worst moments. I love them so dearly, and if they are reading this: thank you :)💞

And to everyone else, thank you for taking the time to read. I'd love to know how y'all have been, so please let me know. I love you all. Please stay safe, and may life bring you the happiness you deserve 🫂

[dootznbootz]

I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

[fenanera]

I want to talk about the big elephant in the room, starting with an F and ending in elassan. Which is difficult because from a subjective point of view, I hate Solas for what he did - remember, I critique him because I love him - and on an objective point of view holding a magnifying glass to the grooves in solas’ brain… I get why it happened. So I want to talk about both. Mostly the second one.

please note that this will involve conversation about ptsd, survivor’s guilt, etc. if those topics make you uncomfortable, that’s okay! you don't have to read.

Pretend for a second that the last thing you remember before closing your eyes for thousands of years is that everything you were fighting for was ripped away by your own miscalculation. You are at that end-stage goal. Victory is in sight and you have already sacrificed so much, you have already been changed so much and maligned from who you were before, that all you have now is this final moment that could potentially end tyranny as you know it. And you fumble that moment. There is success, but at a cost even you couldn’t foresee, and certainly didn’t gamble with as you had before.

When Solas wakes up, that’s all there is. It is the first thing on his mind. The world is foreign to him because it’s grown roots in this foundation that wasn’t supposed to be there. Elves no longer have immortality. The world can only sip magic through a straw instead of having it all around, free, at their fingertips. Mages and elves are oppressed or enslaved, sometimes both. A radical faith has supplanted what he knew to be the truth, and is used as a hammer against people he once advocated for. This isn’t a life, it’s survival, and people aren’t people because he knows what that full potential is, or could be. And then the one person that was always at his side…tells him ‘no.’

I’ve said it many times before, but fight or flight is a powerful thing and when it grips you, it has a hard time letting go. Solas was still in it - his entire being had been melted down and crucibled into a weapon, because he had been fighting since he took his first physical breath, and this was the height of its effect. Spirits have a path, and when they stray from that path, they overload. Solas picked a new path, and now that path was being impeded, again. How much more could he possibly change? How much more time could he waste in this new world? He was angry, he was dogmatic to his goal, he was, at this point, loyal only to what he thought his purpose was. He kills his best friend. He starts from scratch.

He pushes it down. He locks that memory away, just like he locked everything else away. And sometimes it pours out of hairline cracks in what Solas thinks is a good enough justification for what he did. It's worsened by the fact that he didn't let himself mourn. TME takes place right before Inquisition - the man that greets the Inquisitor isn't a man caught in the throes of everything he's ever done wrong, because in that moment, he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He miscalculated the effects of the Veil. Felassan was the one in the wrong for keeping him from reaching his goal, 'betraying' him - and so a spirit acted accordingly to what happens when its path is interrupted. The Solas that we meet at the beginning of Inquisition is shouldering the deaths of thousands - including his dearest friends - and instead of accepting the grieving process / the guilt, he rationalizes it all into a point that still has to be made. A thing he has to fix.

Now, subjectively, that was the worst thing he possibly could have done. I don't think it would have mattered much if Felassan survived - not even a romanced Lavellan could reach Solas' conscience by the end of Trespasser. It takes an agony of effort to finally make him stop, it takes digging up Mythal's remnants to get him to hesitate. He stopped listening to Felassan long before the Rebellion even ended, and he certainly wouldn't listen now. That being said...Solas you absolute idiot.

[chronurgy]

Yrliet's writing in act 3 is quite interesting to me because there seem to be these really massive gaps in her understanding and I can't tell if it's meant to say something about her as a character or it's just more of the slightly squirrelly writing she gets around her act 3 arc to make it work. But I'm going to craft Malakai's reactions to it like it's intentional, because I think it creates a very strange and interesting dynamic for them

In commoragh, Yrliet seems to fail to distinguish between responses that indicate forgiveness and responses that ignore the question of blame or treat her as a resource. She acts like any rogue trader that doesn't instantly kill her has forgiven her, or at least intends to try doing so. This assumption continues even if you keep selecting responses that dodge the question or even verge on hostile. So Malakai assumes that she believes they have forgiven her. The problem is, they haven't. They very much haven't. And it's interesting to watch them all but state that while she fails to see it entirely.

She also fails to see any parallels in how the rogue trader treats 'xenos scum' like Marazhai and how they might treat her, but that particular bit of blindness strikes me as fully intentional.

[crepuscular-girlthing]

every few days i think "i should get into X" [fragrances, drawing again, hi-fi audiophile hardware, makeup, fashion, jewelry, shoes, reading theory, reading sci-fi/fantasy, reading poetry, reading classic literature, making good coffee, personalizing my software ecosystem, exercising, hair styling, skincare, photography, painting, collectables of various kinds, houseplants, birdwatching, identifying local plants, video games] and then i remember im fucking disabled and can barely keep up with taking care of my body and one relationship

[bapydemonprincess]

Sure glad Bard waited until NOW to bring up THAT comparison....😶

[givehimthemedicine]

I've actually gone from scared Max won't be okay to scared Max will be TOO okay

like if they make Max waking up some kind of "😏 what are you doing here, stalker" moment I'm not gonna handle that well either

don't get me wrong, I'll lose my mind if she doesn't end up okay, but first I want that girl catatonic for a while. I want some permanent ability/mobility consequences. I want bigtime ptsd. I want this trauma acknowledged. you feel me. you CANNOT just be okay after that

[eggdrawsthings]

The tbb finale was absolutely wonderful, but... since it now seems 100% for real that tech is gone for good (im firmly on team TechLives, never gonna change), it just makes me feel sad about how the show handled it. No mourning from the characters, not showing how cross or phee reacted to the news, no nothing... it actually makes me really sad. And a bit peeved.

What are your thoughts on it? Asking cuz youre my fav here <3

idk how I missed your ask for a whole ass month there I am so sorry. and yeh no I totally agree w your points there too.

🚨rant alert🚨 many personal opinions here proceed w caution🚨

I can't believe they just dangle Clone X in front of us to theorize omg maybe that's brainwashed Tech?? Maybe that's Crosshair clone?? And then?? It's just SOME GUY. Just a random ass clone. Bro you can't just give a character this much plot armor just to kill them off unceremoniously in the finale, with maybe like one blurry ass frame of his face just for it to be some guy. I can't believe it.

And what is it with recent Star Wars and grief man like are they so allergic to it or sth??? None of that in Mando 3 either??? Idm when a character dies as long as it serves the plot and makes an impact on the story and the cast. Hell my all-time fave SW movie is Rogue One and all of them die. Just let them grieve ffs. NO WAIT THE WHOLE AHSOKA SHOW IS SABINE MISSING EZRA WHAT THE FUCK. oH thEY aRe At wAr ThEY r sOldiERs. bro they fucking grew up together, hello???? What about Phee and Omega then? they are not soldiers, and they also spent a lot of time with Tech? Why tf they only mention Tech once or twice when the mission has sth Tech could do but they couldn't. Is Tech just a damn tool in their eyes???? Showing his goggles a few times is not the same as giving them at least a minute or so to reflect on their loss and figure out what to do from there. Bro Crosshair is sadder about Mayday's death than his own brother who's been through so many deadly missions with him is bonkers to me. When he said Tech is dead and so is TBB out of nowhere I lost my mind.

I love many things in this show, esp the improvement in their art direction and technical stuff but my god I have so many bones to pick with the story. Not saying that I can do any better, I suck balls at storytelling. But as a viewer who also reads and watches many other things, I can say that there are many different ways to sell this ending more successfully and impactfully to the audience, and this is not it man o(-(

[autumnoakes]

hyperfixations really will have you imagining a 2 hour video essay on some white guy video game character huh 😪

[ultimatepeter-man]

hey i saw a headcanon on Cho wanting to do scince and ethics experaments on Ben. how would that go?

OH, I do not think that would go over well. I don't think Ben would want that at all. He's been experimented since being alive. His very creation was an experiment.

Even if he was brainwashed into being Hydra's little toy soldier, he undoubtably went through a lot of trauma. He'd gotten his autonomy taken away, he had implanted memories to make him think he was "saved" by Otto (which is a whole other thing I'd love to talk about), and was essentially Otto's personal on-going experiment (including the other Spider Slayers, of course).

I have no doubt Cho wants to figure out how Ben works because that shits fascinating. I also have no doubt that Cho would be eons better than Otto ever was, and he'd treat Ben like an actual human being. He'd never go past Ben's comfort levels, and would stop if asked to stop.

But, I don't think Ben would ever go for it. I think he'd want to leave that part of his past behind him and never go back. And in the case that he did allow it (or it was necessary, like needing to get a better idea of his health, musculature, dietary needs, immune system, etc... because he IS a synthezoid), then I think it would have to be handled very delicately.

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

reading othello again and despite the horrors it is honestly very funny whenever Iago comes out talking about yet another reason he's fucking up this guy's life